Okay...I'm trying to be friends with my ex-girlfriend because I still love her like family and probably always will. She really is a wonderful, caring, and thoughtful person and I've always thought we would have made great friends had we not become intimate first. However, she has a new boyfriend that's 11 years younger than her and 20 years younger than me! Anyway...she says that as her friend I should be willing and able to listen to her talk about her boyfriend and even meet him. The problem I'm having is (first of all) I'm not ready to meet him. (Duh! He's probably having sex with the woman I thought I'd marry someday!) Secondly, she's always talking about him as if he's the greatest thing since Tony Bennett and is perfect for her. I feel the insinuation is that I was not good enough and all these specific things he does are things I should've done. Is it just me, or is she asking a little much of me at this point. I just asked her a few weeks ago whether or not she thought we should try again, and she said she was happy where she is now. I really do want her to be happy. I guess I just wanted her to be happy with me! I'm just having a very difficult time listening to her talk about what a great guy he is all the time. I guess the wound is still a little fresh for me. Let me stress this one thing...I do really want to be a friend to her and really do consider her part of my family. But does she expect too much of me right now? Am I wrong? Am I just being jealous? Am I being selfish? I don't know if anyone reads this thing, but I really want to know! Help!
PS. With my luck...she will be the only one to read this and will reply "Anonymously" and say I should just take it up the ying yang like a good little boy! Ha!
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I read "this thing" and I think its incredibly selfish to discuss her new boyfriend with you. It is inappropriate in respect for your friendship and in respect for you. She would be furious if you did the same to her - which you would not because you are not like her. In fact, knowing her, you would feel her wrath if you did. She does expect too much from you! I do think the wound is too fresh!You are jealous! You are not selfish! All that you are feeling is normal under these conditions. Its not okay for her to expect you to there for her about these things. You can likely never be THAT kind of friend to her because of your previous relationship. And, as a side note - I guarantee with all that I have, that her relationship with this new guy is not perfect. She is the same girl she was when you met her and she will not change. Don't be fooled by what she has told you. You gave her more love and patience than most men have or ever will
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