Choices

Do you ever yearn so much for something that you can't have? Do you ever feel that you know what you need to do, but it's just so hard because doing it means you're giving up something you yourself desire for the sake of another person's needs. Do you ever feel like the choices before you aren't very good? You can choose to satisfy your own selfish needs and cause unhappiness for another or you can sacrifice your own happiness in order to give someone theirs. I know what Jesus would say. But doing it is so much harder than being selfish. I guess I should just be happy for the other person and try to remember all the things I have that God has blessed me with and be thankful. Sometimes I feel my whole life just slipping through my fingers as if all I once had was just an illusion: the girl, the happy family, the life you always wanted. I just feel at such a loss these days. I want to hold on to that life as long as I can, but doing it is only alienating the one person I want to hold onto. The hardest part is letting go of the friendship. But maybe by letting go I might someday have the friendship. Let her go Alex. Let that life go. Show your love by making her happiness more important than your own.