Allen Fieldhouse

James Naismith, Phog Allen, Wilt Chamberlain, Bud Stallworth, Jo Jo White, Roy Williams...the list goes on and on like a Who's Who of college basketball. University of Kansas basketball. No program in the world has a richer tradition. For me, it all started back around 1974 when I went to Allen Fieldhouse (the legendary home of KU basketball since March 1, 1955) with my dad to watch my first college basketball game. It was against Notre Dame and Coach Digger Phelps, which at the time was a national powerhouse basketball program. Rick Suttle, Danny Knight, Tom Kivisto, Donnie Von Moore, Norm Cook...names I will always remember from that team. I actually played high school basketball with Danny Knight's younger brothers, Kelly and James, who both played Division I basketball...Kelly with KU from 1979-1983. We went to another game a couple of years later to see KU beat Colorado. On that team was one of my favorites, Roger Morningstar. Roger Morningstar's son, Brady, is now a starter for KU.

At last, some 30 years later I walked into the hallowed halls of Allen Fieldhouse. I gotta tell ya...I got chills. I've always been a huge fan of KU and rarely miss a game on TV; but I've just never been back to a game there mostly due to the high price and availability of tickets. This year I decided that it had been long enough. Jackson State is no Notre Dame or even Colorado, but it was still a fun game to watch and mostly just great being in that field house and listening to the "Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk" echo throughout the arena when the game's outcome had all but been decided. Just absorbing the atmosphere was worth the $55 ticket price. We literally sat IN the rafters as I bumped my head into one on several occasions as I was getting up to use the restroom or take a picture. But the seats were still at mid-court and had an awesome view of everything!

I only hope it won't be another 30 years before I return again.

President Obama!

I am so happy for America!!! Last night was a historic night whether you are Republican or Democrat. Electing Barack Obama as our first black president gives me hope that maybe...finally Americans are looking past a persons skin color and voting for him because of the person and what he hopes to accomplish for this country. It gives me hope that we are finally getting to the point where the younger generation is no longer looking at color as a way of judging who a person is inside. Children don't see color as an indication of a person's worth until an adult tells them that there's a difference. Hopefully this will lead to our next woman president or our first Hispanic president or (dare I say it!)....GAY president!

Twisting the Truth: Obama's Tax Plan

With election day drawing nearer (thank God!), there is just so much misinformation out there and headline breaking news that I'm not sure where to start. I guess I'll start with taxes, since it's such a hot button with Republicans.

A Republican friend of a friend on Facebook was arguing with my friend over Obama's tax plan. She stated what McCain and the other Republicans have been saying for a year. They are purposely twisting what Obama has said to make it seem like we are all being fooled and lied to by Obama. Just ask Joe the Plumber...McCain used him as an example to skew the truth and downright lie about Obama's plans to tax him.

What they (Republicans) are saying about Obama's tax plan is this: Everyone, businesses included, that make over $250K per year will be taxed more heavily than those making less than $250K. Their argument is that a good percentage of small business makes over $250K per year, which is true. However, when asked point blank on Larry King Live a while back, and also clarified during the debates and on http://www.barackobama.com/, Obama made it clear that he only plans on taxing the PERSONAL INCOME of individuals and families that make over $250K per year. In other words, a business can make over $250K per year and be taxed the same as other small businesses. However, if the owner or CEO or anyone else working for that small business takes home a PERSONAL income of over $250K per year, he or she will be taxed higher.

Now...I would bet that over 80% of Americans make less than $250K per year. Obama's plan is that no one making under $250K per year in PERSONAL INCOME will pay ANY federal income tax! The richest of the rich have been getting off easy under Republican rule due to Republican's belief in trickle down economics, which has been proven not to work. Can anyone who listens to the news and knows what has been happening with Enron, Lehman Bros, AIG, Fannie Mae, etc., etc., etc., say with a straight face that they believe that CEOs and other executives at large wealthy corporations will be thinking about their employees first if they have a banner year probably due to not paying any taxes? Not a chance! They are going to give themselves a huge bonus including free trips, homes, cash, cars, executive vacations at 5 star resorts (known as business trips by AIG execs), etc., etc., etc. Obama believes that the middle class (those with a personal income of less than $250K) deserve a break for a change! I think he's right!

Baby Christian

Well...we just got back from a long weekend with baby Christian, my sister Christel and her family in St. Paul, Minnesota. Let me just say that Christian is the most beautiful baby I've seen since Shelbi was born! (See pictures) He's only two months old, so he is just starting to recognize people other than his parents and doesn't do much but sleep and poop, but he is starting to develop his own personality already. And he just LOVES his Uncle Alex! Just when I thought I would never want more kids of my own, holding Christian and seeing him respond to me (oh so slightly) makes me wish for another little one around! Hopefully, the feeling will go away when I don't see him for a while! LOL Having a girlfriend first could be an important step, however!

Let's see...other than spending time with Christian and the rest of the family, we went to the Mall of America for an afternoon. I bought a new pair of jeans that were size 34 waist! My size a month ago was 38! I also bought a large shirt which is a size smaller than before! So, that pretty much made my day and gave me even more incentive to continue watching my diet and exercising every day. We also went scootering around town with Christel's scooter and Paul cooked us an awesome meal of roasted pork one evening. They bought a new home when Christel was pregnant, and it is really beautiful in a nice neighborhood in South Saint Paul.

That's about it! Enjoy the pics!

Jealousy

What is it about jealousy that makes us so crazy? Why are so many people jealous and what makes us feel that way? I know jealousy is not considered one of the "Seven Deadly Sins" in the bible, but maybe it should be. It can be such a destructive thing.

I am not normally a jealous person, or at least I try not to let it show. I have tried to not let it destroy my relationships like it does so many people. Jealousy leads to possessiveness which can destroy relationships. I just hate it when the person you care for uses jealousy as a weapon to either hurt you or find out how much you care for them. I experienced some jealousy tonight and I just hated it! But I think the person that made me jealous did so on purpose, and that I dislike even more. Do people do that because of their own insecurities? I'm quite sure that you become jealous because you have insecurities either about yourself or about your relationship with that person or both. In my case, it has more to do with my insecurities with the relationship because I know the relationship is still very fragile. But I've decided not to let it bother me...or at least to not let that person know that it bothers me. Because (believe me) I am bothered by it! I had such a hard time getting what was said out of my mind that I started calling people to see if they could get me out of the house and take my mind off of it. But, alas, none was available. I did, at least, speak to a friend for awhile and that helped. But I've decided to try my best to not let it get to me. I was planning on texting or emailing that person who made me jealous to let them know how I felt, but I decided to not give them the satisfaction of knowing. But, sooner or later, if this topic continues to come up when we talk I'll have no choice but to let them know that I think it's innappropriate.

Jo Jo

We lost our dog Jo Jo today. He had been very sick lately and had spent the past few days at the veterinary hospital. It became evident that he was only getting worse and so my mother and father made the decision to put him to sleep. I know how hard of a decision that was for both of them as I know they loved him very much. We all did. He was as much my dog as he was theirs. Twelve years ago, Jo Jo came walking up to me in my front yard without a collar, without a home. We had recently lost our last dog, Nina, (whom I also found as a stray), and Mom wasn't ready for another dog. But Jo Jo melted her heart immediately and he's been part of our family ever since; as much a part as any one of us. It still hasn't sunk in. I have yet to shed a tear. I think I'm in a state of shock and denial, really. I'm sure when I come over on Sunday for lunch and he's not there to great me at the door or by running to my car to say Hi, it'll become real to me. We love you Jo Jo and will miss you so much!

The following was a tribute to Jo Jo written by my father.

He was with us for fourteen years. They were

wonderful years and wonderful memories of walks

in the neighborhood, frolicking on a Florida

beach, or just sitting near us as he looked at

the world outside our glass front door. He was a

wonderful and close companion who gave us

unconditional love and trust, even during the

difficult last few days of his life. With deep

sadness we had to let him go. As difficult as

it was for us make the decision, it was not fair

to him to let him suffer any longer.

His name was JoJo. We will miss him terribly, for

he was more than a pet--he was our beloved friend.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness. We've heard about it since we were little kids. We've been taught forgiveness at church, from our parents, from our teachers, and yet it's still such a hard thing for people to do. To TRULY forgive someone (to me) means that we are able to stop feeling resentment or anger towards someone for something we feel the other has done to harm them and to FORGET about what happened and go on with your life. To truly put aside any feelings of illwill towards the other person for that offense. To forget about that wrong and go on without feeling that resentment.

That's the hard part, isn't it? To forget. I'll admit, it's been very hard for me to forgive some people in my life. Many people say they have forgiven others, but have they forgotten enough to be able to go on with their lives as if the offense didn't happen? When they see that person again, do they still have those lingering feelings of anger or resentment? Do they still bring it up occasionally when something happens that reminds them of the incident? I can be accused of that and I was wrong each time I did it. But why do some people have such a hard time moving past those things and going forward with their life? Life is hard enough without harboring old resentments and anger.

I don't know the answer of how to forgive and forget. But I know that Jesus forgave his persecutors that hung him on the cross. I will try my best to truly forgive all those who have hurt me. I hope those who feel I have hurt them will let me know how they feel, and then try their best to forgive me.

One week to go!

Well...one week to go on my purification diet! Woo Hoooo! I'm not sure exactly how much I've lost to date because I haven't checked since last Wednesday. As of last Wednesday, I was down to 190 which means that I had lost 9 pounds after 10 days on the diet. My hopeful guess is that I am at about 186 now, but that may be a little optimistic. I've cheated a few times this weekend...mostly by drinking alcohol. But I still feel great and am getting a lot of complements on my weight loss. Even Shelbi's friend told her today that she didn't realize what a good-lookin' dad she had! She told me when I came out to her car that she thought I was Jordan! Funny!

The downside is that I've started smoking a little. I've been a little down lately regarding some issues with my ex-girlfriend and that evening she just happened to call and we got into an argument. As I was already feeling pretty crappy, that made me even more depressed and I bought a pack. Well...one cigarette led to another and I'm smoking about 5 a day now....more when I go out. I'll tackle quitting smoking as soon as this diet is over. One goal at a time!

Chili Cook-off

I forgot to post this the other day, so I thought I'd do it now. My family, minus Shelbi :( , went to the chili cook-off at (what used to be called-and not sure what it's called now) Santa Fe Days on Saturday. The weather was perfect! It has turned into a very well-attended Salina event that lasts most of the day beginning with a downtown parade first thing in the morning. But the chili cook-off has become a tradition for me each year. We just LOVE tasting all the different varieties of homemade chili! I did miss having Shelbi, Angelina and Marquix with us this year, but it was still a good time. The only thing I hated about it this year, is that I couldn't taste any of the chili!!! I am on my purification diet, so all I could do was smell the glorious aroma of that wonderful chili! Also, The New Dawn Singers (Jordan's high school singing group) performed and did a wonderful job! I think they are as good or better than last year, and last year's group was the best I'd ever heard! Peace!

The Producers Final Curtain

Today, we did our last show of The Producers at SCT. The experience was bittersweet for me and most everyone involved. You're glad to finally have some free time in the evenings and weekends, but you hate to say goodbye to all your new friends.

What a great experience it was! Although the audiences weren't as large as everyone hoped, the experience for everyone involved was one we will not soon forget. Of all the shows I've done in the past, this one was probably the best. My only regret is that more people didn't come to see it. It was a very veteran and close knit cast of people from all walks of life that came together each evening and just had a great time! It was the first play that my friend Gary Demuth and I have done together for several years. But I also made several new friends that I hope to call my friends for many years to come. I want to thank everyone who had a part in putting this production together and especially the other cast members for being so amazingly positive and fun throughout the entire run from rehearsals until the final curtain. I love you all and hope to see you again real soon!

Dating in your 40s

I'm a divorced, father of two teenagers and have been divorced for 14 years. When I first got divorced I thought it was very important for me to spend as much quality time with my kids as possible, especially since I only saw them part-time. When it was my weekend with my kids, I rarely ever did anything with anyone but them. Occasionally I would be in a relationship and we would get a babysitter, but that was so seldom I could probably count those times on one hand. My friend John is the same way. He has been divorced probably 10 years now and is just like me about spending time with other people on his weekend with the kids. I basically sacrificed being single in my 30's for time with my kids. Not that I didn't have any relationships because I did. But none of them ever panned out for me. That wasn't my priority. But I wouldn't change that at all. I loved watching my kids grow up and trying to be a good dad for them. My entire identity for as long as I can remember was about how good a father I am/was. John is still single as well and has probably dated less than I have. Our focus was definitely on making sure our kids knew they had loving fathers, and that's a good thing.

Now that we're both in our 40s and our kids are in high school, we find ourselves alone a lot. Is it possible that we could've been good fathers and still maintained strong relationships with our kids? Our kids are awesome and I attribute much of that to them having strong fathers who gave them the love they needed while they were growing up. But now that I don't see them very much I find myself in an awkward state of mind. I no longer know how to date. It's much easier for me to just go out with a buddy or stay home than it is for me to call a girl and ask her out. I'm not sure if that's even how it's done these days. I met my last girlfriend on the internet, but it's such an impersonal, sterile environment to meet someone. We were together for 3 years and called it quits almost a year ago. I haven't been on a date since then (except for an occasional lunch date with a friend of mine who is also divorced and spends all her free time with her kids). That's a year, folks! And a year (at my age) is a precious thing!

When I talk to my kids, it seems as though kids don't "date" anymore. They "hook up" or "hang out". (I hope "hook up" doesn't mean the same thing it meant when I was in high school!) In other words, they go out with friends and meet other friends out. They hang out in groups until they gradually separate themselves from the group with someone else from the group and become a couple. What if you're 44 and don't have a group anymore?? What is it that women in their 30s and 40s are looking for? (I'd say 20s, but at my age that may be pushing my limits a little!) How do you meet them? Part of the problem is that there aren't many places to meet women in their 30s and 40s in Salina. I refuse to "hook up" with a girl I've met at a bar. My church doesn't have many single women around that age, and that's kind of awkward for me too. I try to be involved in the Community Theater as often as possible, but most of the women who do that are also married or just too young.

Any ideas? Please comment...I'd really like to know!

Day One Down

Well...Day 1 of my purification diet is almost history. My friend Dean, who told me about the diet and lost 25 pounds on it, recommended I start today or even after the play ended because he said my stomach may not take it to well for the first few days. I was originally planning on Saturday.

For those of you who aren't aware of what a purification diet does, it completely rids your body of toxins that have built up over time, completely cleansing your liver, kidneys, skin, etc., and best of all losing weight! It can even cure certain ailments such as headaches, bone and muscle aches and pains, etc. You end up tasting your food better, having more energy, feeling like you're 25 again! (Or so I've been told.) Basically, you eat nothing but fresh or frozen vegetables and fruits for 21 days. After 10 days, you can eat a little meat, but only minimal. The shakes you drink and nutritional supplements give you the nutrients you may be missing and help to flush your system.

I got pretty hungry this afternoon. I had an egg and vegetable omelette for lunch (you can eat egg periodically for protein) and a banana and shake for breakfast. But I didn't eat at all until 7:30 and was starved by then! (I ate steamed brocholi, onions and brussel sprouts.) Plus, Anne Hokestra had her 30th birthday today at the theater, and there were two cakes. Everyone was eating away, and I had to just sit and imagine what it might taste like! LOL

I was proud of myself though. It really is a "one day at a time" thing for me. I love eating meat and fast food. That's part of the problem. I had actually lost 10 pounds over the past month by cutting back on fast food, working out daily, and eating more fruits and veges. I was trying to prepare my body for this diet. Hopefully, I can lost another 10-20 pounds. Dean said I can expect to lose a pound a day on this diet. We'll see! Wish me luck!

Times Change

Times change and you adapt. My life is changing by the minute. Some good...some bad. But you live, learn, adapt, and make your life better. Most of you who dare to read this blog know that I have been struggling with the loss of a loved one. A woman I loved dearly has chosen to go on with her life without me. I'm saddened by it, but also know that people must do what they feel they need to do for themselves in order to survive this strange and wonderful world we live in. It will be tough for me, but I will support her as her friend.

My kids are in high school now, and that means I'm alone A LOT! Shelbi has a new job, cheerleading and a new boyfriend (that's a whole other conversation!) so she spends a lot of time with him and Jordan has work, theater, and his music to occupy his time. Dad just isn't as important as he was when they were in grade school. But I will continue to try to spend what time I can with them and go to as many of their activities as I can. I'm just so thankful that my kids have a good head on their shoulders and do their best to make good decisions.

Another change going on in my life is I am starting a purification diet this week. It will help me to rid my body of all its toxins and allow me to lose some weight in the process. Now, I'm not fat, but I could stand to lose a few pounds. It's that middle age, middle section 20. I've actually lost about 10 pounds over the past few weeks just eating right and exercising. But this will allow me to lose as many as 20-25 pounds in 3 weeks and purify my body at the same time. It's going to be tough at times, but I figure it's only 3 weeks out of my life. Hopefully, through proper diet and exercise, I can keep the weight off permenantly.
As always...I welcome your comments!

Fashion Show

I thought I'd post a few photos of my son, Jordan, at the Central Mall Fall Fashion Show yesterday. He sure takes after his old man, doesn't he?

Choices

Do you ever yearn so much for something that you can't have? Do you ever feel that you know what you need to do, but it's just so hard because doing it means you're giving up something you yourself desire for the sake of another person's needs. Do you ever feel like the choices before you aren't very good? You can choose to satisfy your own selfish needs and cause unhappiness for another or you can sacrifice your own happiness in order to give someone theirs. I know what Jesus would say. But doing it is so much harder than being selfish. I guess I should just be happy for the other person and try to remember all the things I have that God has blessed me with and be thankful. Sometimes I feel my whole life just slipping through my fingers as if all I once had was just an illusion: the girl, the happy family, the life you always wanted. I just feel at such a loss these days. I want to hold on to that life as long as I can, but doing it is only alienating the one person I want to hold onto. The hardest part is letting go of the friendship. But maybe by letting go I might someday have the friendship. Let her go Alex. Let that life go. Show your love by making her happiness more important than your own.

Cast Party

We had our first cast party for "The Producers" last night at my house and it turned out to be a lot of fun. I'm still recovering, I think. We ended up partying until about 3 a.m. Bill Brown (aka. Max Bialystock) turned out to be the life of the party, as we all knew he would. Thanks to all who came and to Mom and Jordan for helping to get the party ready for my guests.

Opening Night!!!

Tonight was Sponsor's Night at The Salina Community Theater (SCT) for the Mel Brook's comedy "The Producers". We've been in rehearsals 5 nights a week for 6 weeks getting ready for this show, and if tonight is any indication, it'll be a smashing success! The audience was about two-thirds to three-forths full, but really seemed to enjoy it. You know a crowd enjoys a show when you get an immediate standing ovation, which we received tonight. Most shows get "standing O's", but some are somewhat obligatory where everyone waits to see if someone will be the first to stand...you know, you've been to one of those before. Mom and Dad came tonight and really seemed to love the show. They were still laughing at my costume as Roger Debris' Costume Designer, Kevin. The cast still laughs at me when they see me in it! It's hilarious! The cast is as tight a cast as I've ever worked with. In fact, we probably could have opened last weekend we were so far ahead of where most casts are for their first show.

Tomorrow is the official "Opening Night" of the show. If you read this and haven't got your tickets yet, you'd better not wait too long. When word of how good this show is gets out, tickets will sell quickly. To get tickets, call the theater at 785-827-3033 or order online at www.salinatheatre.com.

Losing a Friend

I lost my best friend today. She may not have always thought of me as her best friend, but I always thought of her that way. It's like a death really. We didn't always see eye to eye on things, but I could always count on her to be my eyes when I couldn't see...my ears when I couldn't hear...my heart when I couldn't feel. If only there was a way to turn back time and let her know exactly what that meant to me...how much her friendship meant to me. Life won't be the same without her.

Obama vs. McCain

I know my blogs recently have been more focused on relationships, but today I want to talk about politics.

I heard on NPR today, that most polls have John McCain even with Barack Obama. One even had him 10 points AHEAD of Obama! Now, I've never considered myself necessarily brilliant or even terribly smart, although I'm not stupid. Here's our choice (as I see it). We've got an extremely intelligent, articulate young senator who has worked his whole life trying to help improve our society from the grassroots level on up. He runs on a platform of change and has articulated his ideas in a way that show he has the what it takes to give America the positive change we're seeking.

Then we have John McCain...a senator who has spent most of his adult life as a Washington insider who also is running on a platform of change (or so he says). Now, how can an aging Senator who has spent so many years as an insider in Washington and who has voted WITH President Bush 90% of the time say he's serious about changing Washington? His economic policy is nearly identical to that of the current president...giving tax relief to the highest income Americans hoping that the money he saves them will trickle down to the middle and lower classes. He wants to continue spending billions of dollars in a failed war in Iraq while our own schools and streets crumble and unemployment is at a 6 year high. Then he brings in a young, attractive woman as a running mate hoping that he will somehow manage to buffoon people into thinking she's going to help him bring about change in Washington. Seriously? How much power do you really think the vice president has anyway? And with the age of McCain (he's over 70 and the oldest nominated presidential candidate in U.S. history), and the stress involved in being President of the United States, it is likely he may not live long enough to see the end of his FIRST term.

It doesn't make sense, does it? McCain spent the past 6 months talking about Obama's lack of experience as a reason NOT to vote for him and then he picks a VP candidate with MUCH less experience (not to speak of ZERO foreign policy experience) just because he thinks the American people will be taken in with her beauty and charm. He's grasping at straws hoping for any possible way of winning this election. Have we all forgotten how a Republican Congress and President failed so miserably the past 8 years? Have we forgotten how we have spent hundreds of billions of dollars in a war that we shouldn't have started in the first place? Have we forgotten how people are making less money today than they made 8 years ago? Have we forgotten how our poor don't receive proper healthcare because most are uninsured? Are we willing to risk another four years on a man who says he wants change, but everything he says shows us it's really just more of the same old Washington?

Now think about that bright, young senator from Illinois and his optimistic ideas for change in Washington. Think about how articulate he is and how hard he has always worked for the common man throughout his life. Think about how he is a self-made man from very humble beginnings.

Now....imagine that he's white.

I still believe that, unfortunately, far too many Americans are still unwilling to vote for an African-American candidate for President. It's not an experience issue for them; if it was, then they wouldn't be willing to vote for a ticket with a VP candidate who's no more prepared than, say, Salina's 3-term Mayor, Alan Jilka, to serve as President of the U.S., and who is just a heartbeat away from doing just that.

The Beach Museum Show

What a weekend! Les had his Beach Museum fund-raiser show at the KSU Alumni Center on Friday. Last year's event was so successful that they asked him back again. In attendance were many well-known K-Staters such as President and Mrs. Wefald, Coach Bill and Sharon Snyder (who, I believe, is primarily responsible for the event), Mr. K-State himself...Ernie Barrett and his wife, and many, many others. Everyone was so very nice and seemed to really like the show. I must say, Les really has done a nice job at this event. Both of his shows are some of the best I've seen him do. I think he feels at home there.

What was nice too, was that along with Mom, Dad, and Jordan being there, Les's friends Harvey Hubert, Stasha Case, Shaun Culley and Dave Harris came to see him. Harvey is a friend of Les's from his days at Worlds of Fun, and Stasha and Dave were in the K-State Singers with Les. I haven't seen Dave for 20 years! Shaun is Les's long time friend from grade school but didn't stick around for the after party. Karen Hight was also supposed to come, but got sick. :( After the show, we all went out for a few too many drinks and stayed at the hotel across the street from the Alumni Center. I love the dress up events where you get dressed up, have a nice dinner and drinks, and get to dance with your honey. It made me miss having a honey to dance with! :(

Up the Ying Yang!

Okay...I'm trying to be friends with my ex-girlfriend because I still love her like family and probably always will. She really is a wonderful, caring, and thoughtful person and I've always thought we would have made great friends had we not become intimate first. However, she has a new boyfriend that's 11 years younger than her and 20 years younger than me! Anyway...she says that as her friend I should be willing and able to listen to her talk about her boyfriend and even meet him. The problem I'm having is (first of all) I'm not ready to meet him. (Duh! He's probably having sex with the woman I thought I'd marry someday!) Secondly, she's always talking about him as if he's the greatest thing since Tony Bennett and is perfect for her. I feel the insinuation is that I was not good enough and all these specific things he does are things I should've done. Is it just me, or is she asking a little much of me at this point. I just asked her a few weeks ago whether or not she thought we should try again, and she said she was happy where she is now. I really do want her to be happy. I guess I just wanted her to be happy with me! I'm just having a very difficult time listening to her talk about what a great guy he is all the time. I guess the wound is still a little fresh for me. Let me stress this one thing...I do really want to be a friend to her and really do consider her part of my family. But does she expect too much of me right now? Am I wrong? Am I just being jealous? Am I being selfish? I don't know if anyone reads this thing, but I really want to know! Help!

PS. With my luck...she will be the only one to read this and will reply "Anonymously" and say I should just take it up the ying yang like a good little boy! Ha!

Reflective moments...

Okay...I admit, I'm a forty-something probably in the middle of some sort of mid-life crisis or something of the sort. But I've been unusually reflective these days. Could it be because I've been having trouble with my teenage daughter recently or the fact that my son graduates from high school at the end of this year? Maybe it's just the stage of life I'm in. Whether you're a man or a woman, you've probably had reflective moments in your life where you've wondered if you've been a good parent or spouse or provider. You may have wondered what you could have done differently to save your relationship with a spouse or child or friend. All I know, is I'm smack-dab in the middle of a very reflective moment in my life. A life-altering moment, really. I lost a woman I loved with all my heart and feel like I'm about to lose a daughter who is the world to me. And for all I know, I've already lost a son who shows no signs of it, but who may someday come to me and say, "Dad, why were you always so critical?" or "Dad, why weren't you more loving with me?" All I know, is that I want the people in my life whom I love the most to know that it is of no fault of their own that they feel the way they do about their relationship with me. Although I have loved them with every fiber of my being, I didn't always know the proper way to show them that. I wasn't always the positive, life-affirming man that I wanted to be. But that I have always loved them with all that I am and will continue to try to be the best father, friend, partner that I can be. And that I WANT to know when it is I have strayed from being that person that they want me to be. When I'm sixty-something, I don't want anymore regrets for not being the kind of man God expected me to be. I want to be all that anyone could ever expect me to be.

It was a tough week...

This past week was one of the toughest I can remember in awhile. Without getting too personal, there are just a lot of things on my mind...family, work, relationships, and life in general. Somedays it's just hard to get out of bed. Then you wind up in a downward spiral that can lead to depression, but it's hard to stop the momentum. Let's see if I can work my way out of it this week! I do have a goal of getting back into shape. I actually had someone ask me if I'd lost some weight. I think they were just being nice. But I'm determined to get my mind and body back into shape!

On a positive note...my sister, Christel, and her husband, Paul, had a baby boy last week. His name is Christian Gunter Brosi. I can't wait to go to Minnesota to see him! Below is a picture. Have a great week!

GREASE is the word!

My son, Jordan, is in the musical "Grease" which opens this weekend at The Salina Community Theatre. It's part of Summer Stage theater for young people and stars the most talented group of teenagers in Salina. Jordan plays the part of Doody which is the young, naive, greaser in the T-Birds. Most of you know that I had the opportunity to play in Grease twice in my life. I played Kenicke in college and Danny Zuko in 1999 at SCT. It's the most fun I've ever had on stage, and I can tell Jordan's having a lot of fun with it as well. What's kind of funny, is that Jordan is going to also be involved in the musical "The Music Man" at South High this year. The Music Man was the first leading role I ever had when I was a junior at South and I've also played the same role of Harold Hill in 2001 at SCT. So, Jordan's kind of getting the opportunity to do some of the same plays I have done. I think he has a good chance at playing Harold Hill at South as well.

All Alone...

Well...I feel all alone right now. My son just left for LALA land with his uncle and my parents left for Holland a week ago. Shelbi's in town still, but at her mom's house. I am watching Mom's dog Jojo, and there's always Maggie (my dog)...but it's not quite the same as having my son around. What the heck am I gonna do when he goes off to school! Thank God for the Smoky Hill River Festival starting tomorrow! At least I'll be able to spend some time with friends. But I'm sure I'll miss my family being around at the festival though. Oh well.

Play del Carmen Pictures

Well...I said I would post some pictures of my trip to Playa del Carmen, Mexico and I finally got them from Les. Check them out!

Playa del Carmen, Mexico

Well...I just returned from Play del Carmen, Mexico with my brother, Les. It was a trip that I won with Aflac. With the exception of Les partially tearing his calf muscle and not being able to walk for 4 days, it was a pretty good trip. (You can read about Les's accident in his blog leslankhorst.blogspot.com) I felt terrible for him as he was really looking forward to going...probably more than I was. I always hate leaving my kids to go on vacation. It would have been much more fun if they could've gone too. But it was an "adults only" trip...meaning that they wanted to be able to drink without making a fool of themselves in front of children. We did do quite a lot of drinking and eating as it was an all-inclusive resort. I don't drink nearly as much as some of them, but I guess I did partake more than usual because it was (afterall) free. I did, however, EAT quite a bit. I just love a good breakfast! So, rather than eat my usual bowl of cereal, I filled up on the eggs, bacon, sausage, crossants, pork, french toast, mixed juices, whatever they had! It was all good!

Probably the best day for me was when I went to Cozumel with some Aflac friends and some new friends (Nick and Lindsay) from Seattle that I met. We just kept running into this couple everywhere. I figured we must have been destined to meet, so I'd better hang with them. Besides...they were way cooler than me so they made me look good! :) Nick was very much a biker-looking dude with lots of tats and wore a bandana over his short mohawk so he wouldn't burn his head. He looked much tougher than he acted! He was so funny and real nice! Lindsay was a very cute blonde with very beautiful, blue eyes and a real sweetheart. What a great couple! They were both in their mid to upper 20s, I'd guess. Anyway, we ran into them at the ferry to Cozumel so I asked them if they'd like to rent some scooters with Clark, Mary Beth and I. (Clark is an agent with Aflac and Mary Beth is his wife.) They thought that was a great idea. We ended up riding our scooters around the entire island of Cozumel enjoying the beautiful scenery. The ocean was the clearest blue I'd ever seen! The beaches (for the most part) were gorgeous as well. We stopped at a great restaurant called "The Beach Club" and had great food. It had an awesome view of the ocean and beach.

Anyway...back to reality (as the pilot on Frontier Airlines said when we arrived in K.C.)! I'll put some pictures on here as soon as Les sends them to me from his camera.

Peace.

KU WINS!

I hate to say "I told you so!", but "I told you so!!!"

What a game! This game will go down in history as one of the greatest NCAA championship games of all time! What a win! What a shot to put the game into overtime! Mario Chalmers has time and time again proven to be the go to man when they really needed a bucket. But to throw up a fade away 3-pointer going to his left and hit nothing but net was nothing short of extraordinary! No one gave KU the credit they deserved going into the Final Four. They won the game as I knew they would...with defense and balance.

Coach Self is to be commended for doing an amazing job with this talented group of players and also for doing such a great job of coaching the final two minutes bringing them from a 9-point deficit to tying the game and then overwhelming Memphis in overtime to win the game. Let's all just hope and pray that Coach Bill Self will stay put for a long time to come.

KU vs. Memphis

It seems as if the Memphis Tigers basketball team has been using the "We get no respect" motto to encourage them to beat team after team all season long. All in all, they've won 39 games (an NCAA record) and been ranked in the top 5 pretty much all season long. For a team that doesn't get any respect, that sounds like someone thinks they're pretty darn good! And they've proven their worth by beating up on some of the best teams in NCAA Men's Basketball during the NCAA tournament.

I've been watching some of CNN's coverage of the Final Four in San Antonio today (during breaks from work, of course!) and all they talk about is how good this Memphis team is...especially their two guards that most expect to be in the NBA this time next year. Very little has been said about KU although many prognosticators predict that as many as five or six of KU's players may end up on NBA rosters next season. It seems that the Memphis Tigers are all of a sudden everyone's little darlings of the tournament. No doubt they are a terrific team. But KU is no slouch this year. Three years ago, when many of KU's players were heralded freshman, everyone seemed to expect them to make it to the Final Four. So why is it such a stretch for people to really believe that with three years under their belts they can't win it all? Yes, we KU fans have grown accustomed to the disappointment of believing the team will make it year after year only to lose to teams like Bucknell in the first round. But I believe this team is much different. This team has something that I haven't seen in any other team this year. Balance. They have the most balanced team I've seen in years. They are loaded with unselfish talent. In each game during the tournament, it seems that a different player has stepped up and given the team the boost they needed to win the game. And Coach Bill Self has sold this incredibly talented group of players on the importance of defense. Ever hear the old saying "Offense wins games, but defense wins championships"? Saturday night, KU played a North Carolina team that was blowing away everyone in this tournament. By playing tenacious defense, KU built up a 40-12 lead in the first half! Is it so hard to think that they can do that again? Now, the North Carolina game was a game that isn't going to be duplicated very often. But I've often seen KU win big games by creating turnovers on defense. I believe they can do it one more time. This time tomorrow I may be eating my words, but for now I have to believe. It seems that this KU team should be using the "No Repect" motto this time around.

Meet Michelle and Barack Obama

What's wrong with Hillary?

I was watching Fox News this morning (sorry Mom and Dad...I thought I was watching CNN!) and they have this guy traveling across the country talking to people about the election. He asks this lady in Arkansas who she plans to vote for. Her response was, "You wanna know who I'm not voting for? I'm NOT voting for Hillary Clinton!" After the first sentence, I knew already who she was going to mention. Why is it that people are so angry at Hillary? She only had to put up with Bill's affairs in office, overcame all of that and became a U.S. Senator, and is now running for President. I often hear people say that Hillary is a B**ch. Why do they say that? I've never seen that side of her at all. I'm going to give you my answer to that question, but I would love to hear what others think about that. Why do YOU think some people are so angry at Hillary and dislike her so much?

Well...my opinion is that the right-wing, conservative talk show hosts and media have painted this picture of Hillary from when Bill was president, and people that listen to those shows have a hard time picturing her any other way. Ask them why they dislike her, and most would not be able to tell you; or they will regurgitate what Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity said about Hillary 10 years ago. Don't get me wrong...I'm definitely an Obama man. I just don't understand why people are so repelled by Hillary.

Now the right-wing, conservative talk-show host, Rush Limbaugh, is attacking John McCain for being too liberal, among other things. And now Rush, Ann Coulter, and others have said that if John McCain is the Republican nominee, they will vote for Hillary. Are they serious? They think John McCain is too liberal because he tries to reach across the aisle occasionally and try to reach some common ground for the betterment of our country. Believe me, Hillary is FAR more liberal than John McCain will ever be! That just goes to show you. Any EXTREME group (whether it's right OR left) seem to say "You're either WITH us or AGAINST us." There's absolutely no middleground with them.

I think the American people are speaking out loud and clear that they are tired of the same old "My way or the highway" attitudes of the current adminstration as well as the right-wing media. They have chosen two democratic candidates and one republican candidate that are all known for taking chances and trying to work with those who sit on the other side of the aisle. Why do you think there are so many registered Independents these days? Things aren't always either RED or BLUE to the average American. The average American doesn't HATE others who don't agree with what they believe. Like Barack Obama says, "There is no red state. There is no blue state. There is only the UNITED States of America."

Valentine's Day

Well...here we go again. Valentine's Day. For many years after my divorce I grew to hate this holiday. I was usually single when it came around and was probably jealous of all the "lovers" out there having such a nice time going out to dinner, exchanging thoughtful gifts, and just generally being in love. Then Angelina came into my life a few years ago, just before Valentine's Day. Our first Valentine's Day was so nice! I drove up to Colby to see her and take her to see the move "Hitch". We just had such a nice time and I was so happy to finally be able to be with someone I loved on this holiday! And the following two Valentine's Days were also pretty good as far as I can remember, but not as memorable as the first. Now, here I sit...alone again. Back to hating Valentine's Day. I guess when I was younger it was always fun exchanging cards with all your friends and classmates. Too bad so many Valentine's Days have gone wasted since then. But then, I never thought I'd still be a single father at the age of 43.

Super Duper Tuesday!

I went to caucus for Obama in Salina on Super Duper Tuesday (as Obama referred to it as) and what great way to experience true democracy in action! I called my friends Gary and Angelina to go with me and both were sick, but nontheless decided to come along and support Obama. I really appreciated their willingness to come! Not only were they sick, but we had a bad winter snow storm that started up just as people were leaving to go. When we got there, there was a line of Democrats waiting to caucus for their candidate (Gary called them "Closet Democrats" as being a Democrat in Saline County or Kansas, for that matter, is not a popular thing to be!). What was so exciting was that their were so many people there that we were waiting in lines outside and in the hallway for a good 45 minutes just to get in the multi-purpose room of the grade school. I was told that they expected maybe 100-200 people there, but the total count came to nearly 700! I was also told that at the last democratic caucus that was held, only 30 or so people showed up. (Thus, the "Closet Democrat" comment.) Obama supporters at our caucus outnumbered the Hillary supporters 3 to 1 and we got 7 delegates to Hillary's 2 from our precinct. We were all stuffed into that multi-purpose rooms like sardines and the organizers were definitely having a difficult time deciding how to manage and count all the people; but they did, and Obama won a landslide!

Barack Obama in Kansas!

Okay...most of you who may venture to this blog from time to time know me and know that I am a Democrat. I wouldn't say I'm extremely liberal, but more so than most of the people from this part of the country.

I went to hear Barack Obama speak in El Dorado, Kansas yesterday. There were probably 5000 people standing in a long line outside of Barton Community College in below freezing temperatures in a RED STATE! (I understand he had 10,000 plus in Denver today standing outside in long lines.) My father, brother, brother's friend Shawna and I all went to hear what this junior Senator from Illinois had to say that was causing so many people around the country to get so excited. I wanted to feel the energy of a young, Democratic presidential candidate speaking to people in a mostly Republican state.

I must say that I have admired him ever since his speech at the Democratic Convention 4 years ago when he was just a newly elected junior senator from Illinois. Even then, the democrats recognized him as one of the rising stars in the democratic party. I was impressed...so impressed that I bought his book "The Audacity of Hope" which was the theme of his speech that evening. I've been reading it the past few weeks, and have been more and more impressed with him all the time. But yesterday was the topper.

There were so many people that about one-third of the people who where there in line had to go to an overflow room in the training center to sit on the ground and watch Senator Obama from a large video screen. Yes, we were in that group! At first there were many grumblings from people (including my brother) that "we didn't come all the way here to watch him on a video screen!" Yet I didn't see one person leave. There was this feeling in the air. This feeling that you just didn't want to miss out on history. After around 2000 of us packed in to this overflow room, suddenly there he was! He was coming to see us first! Of course! He came simply to tell us that he was so appreciative of our willingness to brave the cold and then sit on the floor in front of this video screen to see him. He was so gracious and genuine! It wasn't the stuffiness or pompousness you've come to expect from our politicians. And it wasn't the feeling that "yeah...he'll say anything to get elected." He wasn't fake or pompous or stuffy or anything like that. He was GENUINE. Best of all...after speaking to us for a few minutes, he stayed to shake some hands. While he was busy shaking hands to my right, I quietly made my way to the left by the exit as I knew he would have to go by me on his way out. Sure enough...he stopped right in front of me! As I was waiving my book he looked right at me and said, "Put your name in it and give it to my security agent and I will sign it out back. Without hesitation, I scribbled my name in it and handed it to one of his secret service agents, not even thinking how I was going to get it back. Sure enough, within minutes, prior to even beginning his speech, that same agent came back in the room with my book....SIGNED! I was ecstatic! There were people around me wanting and taking pictures of me with my signed copy of his book! It was the feeling that people understood that this guy was going to be our next President of the United States! It was a great feeling. But more than being happy that he signed my book, I was feeling very optimistic about our future as a country for the first time in a long, long time. I listened intently as he spoke with so much passion about what he wanted for our country. He had so many great, no...AMAZING, ideas about how to change things in Washington and around the world. It was as if a light bulb went off, and you just think "why didn't anyone else ever think to do these things?" It's because he's not tainted by years in Washington and all the "business as usual" nay-sayers that are too worried about getting re-elected that they are afraid to go out on a limb for their beliefs. They don't think outside of the box. His "inexperience" in Washington may be his biggest asset!!! But make no mistake, he is SO INTELLIGENT! This guy knows what he's talking about! He's no rookie!

Democrat or Republican, liberal or conservative, I'm going to ask one thing of you. PLEASE (with an open mind) listen to what Barack Obama wants to do for this country! PLEASE! For the sake of this country, your children or grandchildren, and their future...just listen to him. Listen with an open mind to what he has to say...what he wants to accomplish as President of the United States. I'm not asking you to change political parties or anything...just listen with an open mind. He wants to UNIFY the people of this country and the people of this WORLD regardless of whether you're Black, White, Asian, or Latino...not matter what religion you are or whether you are Democrat or Republican. He knows that we are a much stronger country working TOGETHER than we are fighting about our differences!

Here's a link you can go to to hear him speaking at Martin Luther King's old church this past week. I think this speech really gets across what his hopes for this country are....his "Audicity of Hope".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kf0x_TpDris