What's wrong with Hillary?

I was watching Fox News this morning (sorry Mom and Dad...I thought I was watching CNN!) and they have this guy traveling across the country talking to people about the election. He asks this lady in Arkansas who she plans to vote for. Her response was, "You wanna know who I'm not voting for? I'm NOT voting for Hillary Clinton!" After the first sentence, I knew already who she was going to mention. Why is it that people are so angry at Hillary? She only had to put up with Bill's affairs in office, overcame all of that and became a U.S. Senator, and is now running for President. I often hear people say that Hillary is a B**ch. Why do they say that? I've never seen that side of her at all. I'm going to give you my answer to that question, but I would love to hear what others think about that. Why do YOU think some people are so angry at Hillary and dislike her so much?

Well...my opinion is that the right-wing, conservative talk show hosts and media have painted this picture of Hillary from when Bill was president, and people that listen to those shows have a hard time picturing her any other way. Ask them why they dislike her, and most would not be able to tell you; or they will regurgitate what Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity said about Hillary 10 years ago. Don't get me wrong...I'm definitely an Obama man. I just don't understand why people are so repelled by Hillary.

Now the right-wing, conservative talk-show host, Rush Limbaugh, is attacking John McCain for being too liberal, among other things. And now Rush, Ann Coulter, and others have said that if John McCain is the Republican nominee, they will vote for Hillary. Are they serious? They think John McCain is too liberal because he tries to reach across the aisle occasionally and try to reach some common ground for the betterment of our country. Believe me, Hillary is FAR more liberal than John McCain will ever be! That just goes to show you. Any EXTREME group (whether it's right OR left) seem to say "You're either WITH us or AGAINST us." There's absolutely no middleground with them.

I think the American people are speaking out loud and clear that they are tired of the same old "My way or the highway" attitudes of the current adminstration as well as the right-wing media. They have chosen two democratic candidates and one republican candidate that are all known for taking chances and trying to work with those who sit on the other side of the aisle. Why do you think there are so many registered Independents these days? Things aren't always either RED or BLUE to the average American. The average American doesn't HATE others who don't agree with what they believe. Like Barack Obama says, "There is no red state. There is no blue state. There is only the UNITED States of America."

Valentine's Day

Well...here we go again. Valentine's Day. For many years after my divorce I grew to hate this holiday. I was usually single when it came around and was probably jealous of all the "lovers" out there having such a nice time going out to dinner, exchanging thoughtful gifts, and just generally being in love. Then Angelina came into my life a few years ago, just before Valentine's Day. Our first Valentine's Day was so nice! I drove up to Colby to see her and take her to see the move "Hitch". We just had such a nice time and I was so happy to finally be able to be with someone I loved on this holiday! And the following two Valentine's Days were also pretty good as far as I can remember, but not as memorable as the first. Now, here I sit...alone again. Back to hating Valentine's Day. I guess when I was younger it was always fun exchanging cards with all your friends and classmates. Too bad so many Valentine's Days have gone wasted since then. But then, I never thought I'd still be a single father at the age of 43.

Super Duper Tuesday!

I went to caucus for Obama in Salina on Super Duper Tuesday (as Obama referred to it as) and what great way to experience true democracy in action! I called my friends Gary and Angelina to go with me and both were sick, but nontheless decided to come along and support Obama. I really appreciated their willingness to come! Not only were they sick, but we had a bad winter snow storm that started up just as people were leaving to go. When we got there, there was a line of Democrats waiting to caucus for their candidate (Gary called them "Closet Democrats" as being a Democrat in Saline County or Kansas, for that matter, is not a popular thing to be!). What was so exciting was that their were so many people there that we were waiting in lines outside and in the hallway for a good 45 minutes just to get in the multi-purpose room of the grade school. I was told that they expected maybe 100-200 people there, but the total count came to nearly 700! I was also told that at the last democratic caucus that was held, only 30 or so people showed up. (Thus, the "Closet Democrat" comment.) Obama supporters at our caucus outnumbered the Hillary supporters 3 to 1 and we got 7 delegates to Hillary's 2 from our precinct. We were all stuffed into that multi-purpose rooms like sardines and the organizers were definitely having a difficult time deciding how to manage and count all the people; but they did, and Obama won a landslide!

Barack Obama in Kansas!

Okay...most of you who may venture to this blog from time to time know me and know that I am a Democrat. I wouldn't say I'm extremely liberal, but more so than most of the people from this part of the country.

I went to hear Barack Obama speak in El Dorado, Kansas yesterday. There were probably 5000 people standing in a long line outside of Barton Community College in below freezing temperatures in a RED STATE! (I understand he had 10,000 plus in Denver today standing outside in long lines.) My father, brother, brother's friend Shawna and I all went to hear what this junior Senator from Illinois had to say that was causing so many people around the country to get so excited. I wanted to feel the energy of a young, Democratic presidential candidate speaking to people in a mostly Republican state.

I must say that I have admired him ever since his speech at the Democratic Convention 4 years ago when he was just a newly elected junior senator from Illinois. Even then, the democrats recognized him as one of the rising stars in the democratic party. I was impressed...so impressed that I bought his book "The Audacity of Hope" which was the theme of his speech that evening. I've been reading it the past few weeks, and have been more and more impressed with him all the time. But yesterday was the topper.

There were so many people that about one-third of the people who where there in line had to go to an overflow room in the training center to sit on the ground and watch Senator Obama from a large video screen. Yes, we were in that group! At first there were many grumblings from people (including my brother) that "we didn't come all the way here to watch him on a video screen!" Yet I didn't see one person leave. There was this feeling in the air. This feeling that you just didn't want to miss out on history. After around 2000 of us packed in to this overflow room, suddenly there he was! He was coming to see us first! Of course! He came simply to tell us that he was so appreciative of our willingness to brave the cold and then sit on the floor in front of this video screen to see him. He was so gracious and genuine! It wasn't the stuffiness or pompousness you've come to expect from our politicians. And it wasn't the feeling that "yeah...he'll say anything to get elected." He wasn't fake or pompous or stuffy or anything like that. He was GENUINE. Best of all...after speaking to us for a few minutes, he stayed to shake some hands. While he was busy shaking hands to my right, I quietly made my way to the left by the exit as I knew he would have to go by me on his way out. Sure enough...he stopped right in front of me! As I was waiving my book he looked right at me and said, "Put your name in it and give it to my security agent and I will sign it out back. Without hesitation, I scribbled my name in it and handed it to one of his secret service agents, not even thinking how I was going to get it back. Sure enough, within minutes, prior to even beginning his speech, that same agent came back in the room with my book....SIGNED! I was ecstatic! There were people around me wanting and taking pictures of me with my signed copy of his book! It was the feeling that people understood that this guy was going to be our next President of the United States! It was a great feeling. But more than being happy that he signed my book, I was feeling very optimistic about our future as a country for the first time in a long, long time. I listened intently as he spoke with so much passion about what he wanted for our country. He had so many great, no...AMAZING, ideas about how to change things in Washington and around the world. It was as if a light bulb went off, and you just think "why didn't anyone else ever think to do these things?" It's because he's not tainted by years in Washington and all the "business as usual" nay-sayers that are too worried about getting re-elected that they are afraid to go out on a limb for their beliefs. They don't think outside of the box. His "inexperience" in Washington may be his biggest asset!!! But make no mistake, he is SO INTELLIGENT! This guy knows what he's talking about! He's no rookie!

Democrat or Republican, liberal or conservative, I'm going to ask one thing of you. PLEASE (with an open mind) listen to what Barack Obama wants to do for this country! PLEASE! For the sake of this country, your children or grandchildren, and their future...just listen to him. Listen with an open mind to what he has to say...what he wants to accomplish as President of the United States. I'm not asking you to change political parties or anything...just listen with an open mind. He wants to UNIFY the people of this country and the people of this WORLD regardless of whether you're Black, White, Asian, or Latino...not matter what religion you are or whether you are Democrat or Republican. He knows that we are a much stronger country working TOGETHER than we are fighting about our differences!

Here's a link you can go to to hear him speaking at Martin Luther King's old church this past week. I think this speech really gets across what his hopes for this country are....his "Audicity of Hope".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kf0x_TpDris

SiCKO

I just finished watching the movie "SICKO" with my son, Jordan, and I'm "sicko" to my stomach! Not sick to my stomach as in being a terrible movie. On the contrary, sick to my stomach as in being an excellent movie that made me literally feel sick at how corrupt our country has become! So corrupt, in fact, that the wealthy insurance companies, hospitals, and even politicians (imagine that!) can continue to rake in the money while the middle class and poor who can't afford health insurance literally die in their wake. Seeing how countries like Canada (Michael Moore brought this little fact up in his movie "Bowling for Columbine"), England, France, and even Cuba live with free, universal healthcare. That's right...FREE! For EVERYONE! And the drugs that we pay hundreds of dollars for are FREE or (in one instance with a 9/11 worker) only 5 cents for a drug in Cuba that she pays over $100 for every month in America! In fact, the United States is the ONLY western country that DOESN'T have free, universal healthcare! It's absolutely sickening! If you haven't seen this movie, you MUST see it. And I am well aware of some of you who may be leary of believing what Michael Moore has to say and who may not watch this movie because of him. You really must watch this movie. Don't live in denial any longer. Just because this is the United States and we are Americans, it doesn't mean that our healthcare system can't be seriously broken and in need of repair. Our healthcare system is not based on helping and healing people, it's based on money pure and simple.



Listen....I work for a large health insurance company. Not the same kind of health insurance company that this movie refers to, but I'm sure universal healthcare would adversely affect my career. I don't care. There's a better way to do things. I don't know what it is, but the next time you turn on the T.V. and see the presidential candidates debate, listen to what they say about healthcare. Ask yourself "Why" they believe what they believe. If they are against universal healthcare, ask yourself why! Better yet...ask THEM why! If they are for some type of universal healthcare, listen to them. Find out what they believe...how they plan to fix it. It can happen and it will be better for EVERYONE! Okay, maybe the CEO's for the large insurance and pharmaceutical companies will have to find new jobs, but I think they've been living off the rest of us long enough.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! It has been some time since I wrote anything here. To put it mildly, the holiday season is a very busy time in my business since many companies have end-of-year benefits enrollments, and that is what Aflac does the best. This year, not only did I have my regular end-of-year enrollments, but the City of Salina also became an Aflac customer so I had to throw in a week of meeting with firefighters, police officers, and street workers. Hopefully, things will slow down just a little to give me some time to myself and my family that has been unavailable lately.

This past year has been a good year, but in some ways a hard year. Good because I quit smoking (although I still slip up occasionally) and my business is growing, but hard because Angelina and I ended a 3 year relationship which was a constant struggle and also because I am experiencing some challenges with my daughter. You see, she is a high schooler now, but she is still only 14. Unfortunately, she seems to think she is 18 and wants the freedom an 18 year old gets. The problem is that as a divorced parent, it's difficult when your ex doesn't feel the same way about parenting a 14 year old girl as I do. Hopefully we won't have to wait until something bad happens before we get on the same page.

The years go by so quickly as you grow older. This year I will turn 44. I'm not sure how middle age affects most women, but I thought I had already gone through a brief bout with mid-life crisis. I was wrong. I'm going through it now. No...I'm not going to go out and buy a Corvette or something (I would if I had the money...although not because of any type of mid-life crisis). It's just that I find myself thinking about my own mortality and longing for the simpler times. I find myself wishing I had made different decisions in my life and wondering why I'm where I am today. I wish I was happy like I was when I was 21. Not that I'm unhappy...it's just that I haven't felt happy with my life and who I am for quite some time. I'm not doing the things with my life that I wanted to do when I was a kid. I wonder when I'm finally going to be able to support my family the way I always wanted to. I'm tired of explaining to Jordan that I can't afford this or that. I always wanted to be able to give my kids more than my parents were able to give me. That has not happened. I guess that's why it has always been so important for me to give my kids all the love I could. Love is free and easy to give to your kids. If they feel loved, they will never feel short-changed in life.

What's my New Year's resolution? Hmmm..... I guess to become more secure in my job financially. I'm doing well in terms of numbers, but the money is still hard to come by. I'm making as much or a little more as I did teaching, but that doesn't say much. As a single parent...that doesn't say much at all. Here's wishing everyone I know a healthy and prosperous New Year!

Calling it Quits....

It's been awhile since I've taken the time to write anything. But a lot has happened. First of all, I went to my little sister's wedding in Minnesota with Angelina, her son Marquix, and my kids. It was such a nice wedding and we had a real nice time. Minnesota was beautiful and the weather was perfect. I'll spare you all the details, but I'd love for you to check out my brother's blog. He was the official photographer (one of his many talents) and put a lot about the wedding in his blog. Go to: http://www.leslankhorst.blogspot.com/.



Last week, Angelina and I called it quits. I think that's why I haven't written anything recently. I had to wait until I was ready to talk about it, I guess. I'm not sure if I am, but since I've already started I might as well go on. We'd been going through some counseling with our pastor Barry (who is great, by the way!) and both came to the conclusion (after several meetings) that it's in the best interest of our children and ourselves to end the relationship while we're still friends. For the better part of 3 years, Angelina and I have had a very hot and cold relationship. At times we were so happy it was unbelievable. At other times we were at each other's throats. Unfortunately, the latter seemed to happen much too frequently. I think after trying for 2 1/2 years, you just end up with too much bad stuff to overcome. We still care for each other deeply, but I think it was just that we didn't bring out the best in one another.



Angelina is such a great person. She's so loving and generous. I miss her. I wish her nothing but the best.

Peace.
Alex

Mexico City, Mexico

Just got back from another trip. This time my brother and I went to Mexico City, Mexico for a show he was doing for this travel company. In attendance were some of the CEOs (and wives) of some of the biggest companies in Mexico including Mercedes-Benz, Volkswagen, Bayer, and many others. Also, the Mexican Ambassador and his wife were there. The picture you see is of a Mercedes SL500 Gullwing. I believe it's about a 1955. It's the most beautiful car I've ever seen up close! This car looked like it had never been driven! The lifted it up the side of the hotel to the 4th floor (where Les's show was) and set up the display just outside the entrance to the room. The theme of the night was "Back to the Classics".

I love traveling, especially outside of the United States. It really gives me some perspective, you know? I love seeing how different other people live outside of the U.S. Especially in third world countries like Mexico and some of the islands I've visited, you notice how poor many people in this world are. It makes you really appreciate how blessed you are to have been born here. If my parents would have stayed in Holland or even Indonesia (when they were young), my life would have been much different.

Probably the thing that sticks out the most about my trip is how many people there are in Mexico City. Our driver, Jonathan, told us that 22 million people live there. By contrast, I believe the entire metropolitan KC area is about 1.5 million. For that reason, unemployment is very high. Also, Les and I both had terrible headaches while we were there, and we feel like it must have been the pollution. The air in parts of the city was as brown as if there were a dust storm. I mean it was dark! Darker than even I've ever seen in Los Angeles or Denver.

This is a picture of what I witnessed the first day in Mexico City. There were hundreds of naked men with signs strapped around there waist and in there hands, protesting some senator or government official who they say has taken away all their land.

The Presidential Palace

Some kind of Center for the Arts

A beautiful, old church

Now, I'm off to my sister Christel's wedding in Minneapolis, Minnesota! I can't believe she's getting married! Paul is such a nice guy. They're both very lucky to have each other!

Peace.

Alex

Atlanta Pics

I just got the pictures back from my Atlanta trip. Here they are! Those with flowers are from the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. Then the Coke tour, CNN logo at

The Omni Hotel at CNN Tower, The High Museum of Art, and the Awards Banquet.

New Car!

Oh yeah...I bought a new car the day before I left for Atlanta! It's a Silver 2005 Mazda 6S, and I love it! Marquix thinks it's way too cool for a guy like me! What do you think?

Triple Crown in Atlanta

Hello again! I just returned from 4 days and 3 nights in beautiful Atlanta, Georgia. I forgot how many trees there are and how beautiful the south is! As we were driving through the city towards the hotel, I kept commenting to Angelina how beautiful all the trees were in the city. I remember going to Charleston, South Carolina and flying over Savanna, Georgia and thinking how beautiful the south was when I was working for Kansas Wesleyan back in the 90s. I'd live down there if I didn't have such an aversion to humidity.

We left Thursday morning from the Salina Airport (my first time!) on a small jet (my first time!) and it was such a nice, short flight to Kansas City! Actually, both the flights to and from Atlanta were excellent. We had great weather and nice flying conditions. I don't care much for flying anymore, but on this trip the flights couldn't have been better! Our luggage even arrived with the plane both times even though we changed airlines in Kansas City!

I tell you...Aflac spent a wad of money on this trip for all of us! I won the trip by being a Triple Crown winner. The Triple Crown is an exclusive award that first-year agents can win if they meet all the sales criteria. Everything on the trip was paid for by Aflac, including travel accommodations for two, hotel for three nights at The Omni Hotel at CNN Center (4 diamond rated), group tours for all on Saturday, and three meals a day along with entertainment and dancing each night. I estimate that there were a couple hundred agents who won the trip from all over the U.S., and they all brought a guest.

Some of the highlights of the trip include the day Angelina and I just walked around for awhile, then took a train through the city. The weather was a perfect 70 something and cloudy with very little humidity. Perfect conditions for a stroll through Atlanta! We went to the Lennox Mall, The Underground (which is an underground mall and party district), and all around downtown. We also took a tour of the High Museum of Art and Atlanta Botanical Garden along with the Coca-Cola Museum tour where we got to see how Coke is bottled, view old Coke memorabilia and commercials, and even taste test various drinks Coke sells throughout the world. Our hotel was right downtown across from Centennial Park and next to Phillips Arena. The 1996 Olympics were held in facilities all over this area. In fact, Centennial Park is where they had that bomb scare and the security guard Richard Jewell was falsely accused. It really was a beautiful area! Oh...we also got to watch a performance by the vocal group Toxic Audio. They did a Take 6 type of vocal performance where they do all the sounds of a band without using any instruments...only the human voice and body. They were extremely talented and even added a lot of humor.

We did so much in a few days, it's hard to remember everything. Needless to say, we missed our kids a lot, but had a very nice trip and spent some good, quality time together. All couples need to do that at times.

Peace.

Alex

Georgia On My Mind

Well...I'm off to Georgia on Thursday. I won an all-expense paid trip from Aflac by winning the Triple Crown and get to take my girlfriend, Angelina, with me. I hope she can put up with me for 4 days! It's supposed to be a pretty cool trip. They fly us from Salina which will be a new experience for me. I've flown all over the place, but never from my hometown airport on one of those small jets. We are staying at the Omni CNN Towers Hotel in Atlanta. One day we will be taking a tour of the Aflac Headquarters in Columbus and one evening we have a nice formal event where they recognize the award winners and have entertainment and such. The rest of the time is on our own. I really need a vacation too. I'll take some pictures and post them on my blog next week.

Peace.

Alex

One Month Down

It has been awhile since I've written anything...I guess I've been kind of busy or nothing interesting has happened lately. More likely than not, the latter is true.

I guess the biggest story is that I've gone one month now since I quit smoking. It has been a tough road at times. Last weekend I went out for a beer with my buddy Gary Demuth, and it was pretty tough not asking someone for a cigarette. That was always kind of my thing with Gary. He only smoked when we went out for a beer, and we'd sit there and talk sports and theater while we drank and smoked. That's probably the occasion I'll miss smoking the most.

I've always loved my nights out with Gary. We used to go out every single Wednesday (used to be Thursdays for several years) night unless I was out of town on business or I had to stay home with one of the kids. That went on for almost ten straight years! Then Gary met Marcia and I met Angelina. Things changed after that. Not that Marcia or Angelina really mind that much if Gary and I go out for a beer together. But I guess we were both a little cautious about pushing our luck with the "once a week" thing. It's funny. When you're in a relationship is really when you NEED that one night a week refuge. Sunday was Gary's birthday, so we were kind of celebrating. I won't tell you how old he is now because he wouldn't like it if he reads this! He doesn't really "celebrate" birthdays anymore. He's so funny about that! Ever since he turned forty (nine years ago or so...uh hmmm) he's never straight with me about his age until I press the issue. I think he was forty some four years in a row! Anyway, Nathan Tysen and Ryan McCall were playing at The Paramount Bar with their band. They're always fun to listen to.

Earlier that night, Gary and I went to see Jordan's play "The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940". Jordan played a New York cop trying to solve the murders of some musical dancers which turns out to be several others before the night ends. It was very funny! Jordan is really starting to look so much like me on stage these days. His hair seemed darker on stage. I'll post some pictures when I get them. It was interesting because I played a cop trying to solve a murder in the comedy play "The Butler Did It" when I was also a junior in high school. It's funny how much Jordan's life has imitated mine at times. He's into his rock music and plays in a band....I was the lead singer of 3 bands. He works at a clothing store....I worked in the clothing industry for many years. The girls love him....well...you know. (Just kidding!) He's such a better kid than I was at his age though! I was pretty ornery and got into drinking and smoking at his age. He wouldn't think of it! I hope Shelbi has the same morals throughout high school.

Well...back to fixing the toilet! I hate plumbing work! Randy....where are you!!!

Peace.
Alex

Manhattan Weekend

What a fun weekend I had! Friday night Les had his show for the Beach Museum of Art on the KSU campus. The show was at the beautiful alumni center and the attendees mostly notable and wealthy KSU alums. The most notable was the legendary Coach Bill Snyder. Also in attendance was KSU president, Jon Wefald. My understanding is that these two men are invited to countless KSU events and rarely stay for the entire event (as you can imagine!) However, this night not only did they stay the entire dinner and concert, they stuck around for quite awhile afterwards to visit with Les, my parents and me. They were absolutely the nicest men and said they were in awe of Les's performance! I thought Les put on his best show yet! I was real proud of my little brother.

The next day, we were invited by Tim and Susan Weiser to watch the K-State football game in their private box on the 50-yard line. They were also such very nice, genuine people. I must say I was very impressed with everyone I met during the weekend! Les also made a nice connection at a tailgating party. We were invited to attend the Coco Bolos tailgate party and at the party Les and I were introduced to a group of people including a gentleman (forgot his name) who is the President? (not sure of his exact title) of the International Society of Jazz Musicians? (not sure of the name of the society either!). Anyway...they put on an annual jazz convention where international performers such as Diana Krall and Herbie Hancock will be present, and he wants Les to go with him and hang out with these people. I believe it's in Toronto this year. They were all very impressed with Les's credentials and actually called themselves "Rat Packers". What a great opportunity for him!

Peace.

Alex

Beach Museum Fundraiser

Well...tomorrow I'm off to Manhattan for Les's show at the KSU Alumni Center. Les has asked me to sing "Me and My Shadow" with him at the show. It's a fundraiser for the Beach Museum at KSU. Les went up today and had lunch with President Wefald at the President's house on campus. I used to walk by it every day on my way to class. Guess who else was at the luncheon. You guessed it. Bill Snyder and his wife! What a lucky guy. I thought they might be there. They're gonna be at the show tomorrow night as well. Mrs. Snyder is a big supporter of the Beach Museum. Hopefully I'll get to meet him as well. On Saturday, Les and I will be sitting with Athletic Director Tim Weiser in his cozy private box for the football game. I can't wait!

Until next time.....

Peace.
Alex

One Week Down

Well....I finished my first full week of not smoking! Whew! It seems like a month! But it is getting easier each day. But, I know that at any time I could fall back if I give in to temptation. It's happened before....too often. I can't let it happen this time. I must stay strong at all times. I've thought about going on the patch as well, but it's too late now, I think. I haven't smoked in a week, and starting on the patch would get me back to my nicotine addiction. What I'm battling now, is the psychological addiction. And that's when it gets hard.

K-State lost a nail-bitter to Auburn tonight. It was terrible! I was proud of how well they played though. If it hadn't been for the 15+ penalties for about 150 yards, we would've won, no doubt. We beat ourselves. KU smacked Central Michigan. I don't know the final score, but KU scored in the 50s. I hope we have two real good Big 12 teams in Kansas this year. It looks promising!

Les and I go to Manhattan tomorrow to practice our number for his show next weekend. He's playing at the KSU Alumni Center. It's a benefit for the Beach Museum at K-State. We are doing "Me and My Shadow" again. Then on Saturday, Les and I are going to watch the K-State football game from Tim Weiser's box! Tim Weiser is the Athletic Director at KSU. Should be a blast. Les warned me not to say anything or make any reference to my affection for KU athletics. What can I say...I'm a little confused. I just love any team from Kansas! But lets not talk about my beloved Chiefs....Uuuuugh!

Go Teams!

Alex

Day Six - Thursday 8-30-07

I'm surprised how easy it seems to have been these past few days. Sure...I've had many cigarette cravings, but they don't seem to last very long and are far between. Maybe it's because I've tried to stay busy. I did drive to Junction City today. Driving has always been a major trigger for me. Let's just say I chewed nearly a whole bag of sunflower seeds! I don't know if it's the medicine that's helping so much or what, but this time has seemed much easier. I can't tell you how badly I've wanted to go buy a pack of cigarettes on an occasion or two, but I didn't. The mornings are tough too. I so love going out on the porch with a cup of coffee and a cigarette. It's so relaxing! Ahhhhh...... I will miss my old friend. But he really is the devil!

I hope Angelina doesn't get mad at me for saying this, but yesterday Angelina and I went to a couples counseling session. I think most of you know it has been a tough relationship for both 0f us for a long time. But we really do love each other. I tell ya though....after meeting with the counselor and seeing the look in her eyes, I could tell she didn't see much hope for us. I think Angelina saw it too. She was real quiet afterwards....after listening to what the counselor told us. I must admit, it made me think too. Is it really worth all the frustration, unhappiness, arguments? Maybe we're just incompatible. I hate that word. That was Shelly's grounds for divorce. Incompatibility. I've always thought of that as a cop-out people use to refer to marriages when they're just too lazy to work things out and don't realize that in your vows, it doesn't say "through thick and thin (unless you realize that you're incompatible)." I guess that's why I've really wanted this relationship to work for us. Even though we're not married, I wanted to give it everything I've got. I saw that Angelina was willing to keep trying too, even when things got really bad. There was commitment on both sides to make it work. I like that. I think that's something that really makes a difference to me. It's hard to find that level of commitment from people these days. I think we'll continue to seek counseling. We owe it to ourselves to really give it a good effort this time. I don't think we can do it on our own at this point. We've tried and we just seem to get closer to breaking up than staying together. Hopefully, an outside perspective will help us. I pray it does.

Peace.
Alex

Day Three - Monday 8-27-07

I've made it through three days in a row now, but it hasn't been easy. The key has been to keep myself busy. When I have cravings at trigger points during the day (with coffee, in my car, after dinner, etc) I've just tried to occupy my time and mind with other things and the craving generally goes away pretty quickly. I have a card in my wallet that says "Remember...the craving will go away whether you have a cigarette or not." The craving goes away. Sometimes it seems to come back more often, but it does go away just by taking my mind off of it.

Angelina's been doing well at quitting too. She's a much stronger person than I am. She seems to be able to quit cold-turkey all the time, but has always gone back to smoking in times of stress. Stress is her big trigger, and unfortunately she has a lot of stress in her life. But I'm proud of her! She quit on August 23rd, so is two days ahead of me. It's so much nicer to kiss her now! I guess it must be nicer for her as well. That's the thing about smoking that bothers me the most....the smell. It's in your clothes, your hair, your breath...everything!

Three Days down....a lifetime to go!

Peace.
Alex

Day One - Quit Day Saturday 8-25-07

Okay...I'm writing this after-the-fact, but I felt it was important to document my struggles/successes with quitting smoking. If you have any comments or suggestions on things that might help, please feel free to leave a comment.

Well...day one started out bad. I had a few drags from a cigarette in the morning. One of the hardest things for me is to not smoke in the morning with my cup of coffee. I felt terrible and didn't have any for the rest of the day. The medication I'm taking does actually seem to help. For some reason I don't seem to have as many regular cravings. However, when I do get a craving it's a doosy! I was proud of myself for sticking to it the rest of the day. For the first several weeks, it really is "One Day at a Time".

Hallowed Grounds

Well...we did it! Les and I sang the National Anthem at Arrowhead Stadium yesterday, and it went great! It really was so much fun for us both, but me especially. Those who really know me know that there aren't very many Chiefs fans who are any bigger fans than I am. I have stuck by the Chiefs all through the hard times in the 70s and early 80s when being a Chiefs fan wasn't very cool. Back then you had to be a Steelers, Cowboys, or 49ers fan to be cool. Okay, it wasn't a Chiefs game (hopefully the exposure will help us get a Chiefs game sometime!) but it was the "hallowed ground" of Arrowhead. Most NFL fans recognize the "hallowed ground of Lambeau Field" in Green Bay as kind of the storied and historic stadium in the NFL, but Arrowhead is no less important to me.

Walking through Gate E into the main entrance to Arrowhead I began to feel like a little kid again. With bronze busts of Neil Smith and Jack Steadman greeting us as we walked in, I began to feel giddy. This was it! We're goin' in! What do you mean? No bust of Derrick Thomas or Len Dawson (two of my most favorite Chiefs). Well....that was just the beginning!

We waited for a while in the lobby after Marty (not Schottenheimer, but the nice lady at the front desk) called Les's friend Shaun who is the Assistant Box Office Manager for the KC Wizards and got us the gig. Soon thereafter, Suzanne (I think her name was?) came to get us and escort us to the field. (Les tells this story on his blog at leslankhorst.blogspot.com too. It's better.) Les went with her and I stayed behind as I thought she had said she would be right back. Soon Les calls back to me, "Alex....you GOTTA SEE THIS!" So I walked around the corner and Les points to his right as Melissa moves back. There it was. THE LOMBARDI TROPHY!!!! Right there in front of me. "That can't be the real thing", I thought. It was so long ago, and before even MY Chiefs days. But, yes, the Chiefs had won a Super Bowl....Super Bowl IV to be exact. But there was no glass case. Nothing. It was standing right there in front of me next to bronze busts of so many of the Chief's players of the past. Suzanne and Les both started laughing as I was standing there with my jaw literally on the floor. I was in shock! My mind was racing so fast I didn't realize for a second that it really was the real thing. I'm still giddy thinking about it! It didn't even say "Super Bowl" it sayed something like "The National Football Championship Trophy".

A little bit of trivia....
Do you know who actually named "The Super Bowl"? Why none other than the founder of the AFC and one of the most influential figures of modern-day football, as well as the recently deceased owner of the Kansas City Chiefs, Lamar Hunt.

Oh...I almost forgot about the National Anthem and the soccer game. We stood near the 50 yard marker and faced the crowd with a camera in our face as we stood and sang the National Anthem to a crowd filled with mostly Spanish-speaking Mexicans. I joked to Les later that we should have sang the Mexican National Anthem as well! You see, most Americans who pay attention to sports news may know the name David Beckham as he was the most heralded European Soccer player of his generation and he recently signed with the Los Angeles Galaxy of the MLS and is married to Posh Spice of The Spice Girls. But most of us NON-Hispanics don't know the name Cuauhtemoc Blanco. To put it this way...he is the David Beckham of Mexican soccer. He is the Michael Jordan of the NBA. He is the star and hero to millions of Mexican soccer fans and he plays for the Chicago Fire who was our rival team that night. There were as many (if not more) fans there rooting for Chicago simply because he was on their team. It was an extremely exciting game with Blanco getting 2 yellow cards and getting into a heated argument with an official. The Wizards finally came out ahead 3-2 in close match. Another great part of the night was that we got to share it with our dad. Dad's been a soccer fan all his life having grown up in Holland and played soccer all through his youth. He even coached me in junior high. It was fun going to our first major league soccer match together.

It was a night to remember. Thanks Shaun!

Peace.
Alex