What do say about someone who meant so much to you as your own mother? I look at her pictures as I type this, and it's still hard to believe that I'll never talk to her again. That I'll never see her smile at me or look at me with the look only a proud mother can have. Before my own children came along, she was it...my world....my rock...my constant source of support. Not that my dad wasn't also there for me, he was; but my mom was the one I would go to for encouragement. She would tell me like it is, as she saw it...but she would make sure I knew I would be okay regardless. I could trust that even though she may not fully understand my situation, she always did her best to understand.
When my children were born, she was also THEIR rock too. Their mother, unfortunately, was not always a rock. She loves her kids, but she did not provide a sense of security for them even though they lived with her. That was my job as their father; but my mom always wanted them to know that they could come to her and that she loved them. My mom was also a mother to them. Mom knew that they needed her...that they needed stability and security from a strong woman. She always gave of herself to anyone who needed her, without question.
I still see her standing in the front door saying goodbye every time we left her house. She did that always, for as long as I can remember. The last time I came to see her prior to her final days in hospice care, there she was...standing in the front door waving goodbye as we drove off. She could barely walk, but she wanted to make sure she saw us for as long as she could in case we never saw each other again. I wish I would have known that it would be the last time. I would have stayed.
Goodbye, Mom. I hope you knew how very much I always loved you, and what a tremendous mother you always were.
