Integrity, Honor, Commitment

I don't think people have much integrity these days...mostly, I suppose, with the younger generation; but really in general. There are a lot of things that go into having integrity: commitment, morals, truthfulness, honor, reliability.

I had an argument with my daughter this morning. She texted me to to say that she could not eat dinner with us for her grandfather's birthday tonight, even though she had told me twice (as late as yesterday) that she would be there. She said she had a date with her boyfriend and that she was also on a diet and couldn't eat at that particular steakhouse due to her diet. In my opinion, she was making excuses so she could spend more time with her boyfriend. She said she would "stop by" for a few minutes to say hi. She thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. I told her that commitment WAS a big deal and that she had to learn that when you commit to something, you follow through. She could always eat a salad if it was only because of her diet; I knew better, because I know my daughter.

This is just one example in a long line of examples of people who have made commitments to me and others I know, only to back out at the last minute.

It has only been in the past couple of years that I felt I was ready to start seriously considering dating again. After my most recent relationship dissolved, it was hard for me to get back up in the saddle and trust again. Not only that, my kids were now grown and son was off to college. It was time to start thinking about my own future. In the last year alone, I have personally experienced women who have backed out of dates (casual get-togethers as well as formal) the day of or day before we were to get together. This has happened about 5 times in the past year alone! (It happened twice this week by the same woman friend when we were supposed to go to a movie together.) When my daughter backed out on her commitment today, it just got me to wondering where integrity and commitment had gone. I want to teach my daughter to NOT be one of those people who think it's okay to back out on commitments. Ironically, she was backing out IN ORDER to spend time with a boy; but in my mind, that's even worse. Family should ALWAYS come before boyfriends or girlfriends, especially at her age and level of commitment to a relationship. It's hard to teach a girl at her age to put family before boys, however.

People look at my past record with women (16 years divorced and not yet married) and think it's due to my inability to make a commitment. On the contrary, it's because I have NOT felt the same level of commitment in the women I have dated! I can't tell you how tired I get of people making jokes about my inability to make a commitment, when I know that's never been the issue. In fact, in all my years of dating women going back to high school, I don't believe I have EVER had an extra-curricular relationship when I was involved in a serious relationship with a woman. Now...I have dated more than one woman at a time on occasion; but that is normally when I am still in the dating process and not serious with any particular one. In fact, before my last 3 years relationship I was dating two women fairly regularly. When it became obvious that I was ready to make a commitment to one over the other, I called the other to let her know. You know...she was very kind and appreciated that I called to tell her and was honest with her rather than just stop calling, as so many others do today. I also told both of them that I was seeing the other while I was dating them both. I wanted them to know where I was in terms of commitment.

I get asked to give of my time to projects, committees, events, etc all the time. Each time I am asked, I give serious consideration as to how much time I have to give and what level of commitment is being asked of me. I never agree to anything that I don't feel I can give 100% to. I want others to never doubt my level of commitment. Integrity, commitment and honor are a lost art...an art I hope my children will learn and appreciate.

Political Ramblings

I haven't written much lately. I guess life sometimes gets so busy you forget to stop and think.

One thing has been bothering me a lot. I haven't talked much about politics here lately. But there is so much going on in this world that has me upset, it's never too far from my mind. Specifically, I am becoming very disturbed by Republicans (especially the far right) for things that are happening since Obama took office.

If you've been on another planet or locked inside a closet for a couple of months, there was an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico that continues to spew thousands and thousands of gallons into the ocean every day. Now...most democrats have been against drilling in the ocean forever. Last year, the ban was lifted by President Obama and drilling has started back up on in some areas off the U.S. coast. In the meantime, Sarah Palin and other Republicans have been shouting "Drill Baby, Drill!" in an effort to allow for more drilling in the ocean and around the U.S. Most Democrats have continued to believe that we should spend more money and energy looking at alternative clean fuels. Then came the disaster in the Gulf. Now Obama is being blamed for the disaster by Republicans who for years have been fighting to start the drilling while Obama and other Democrats have resisted. How dare they! Much of the finger pointing is not necessarily coming from Republican leaders, but from the Republican citizens of the U.S. The other day, I even had a trucker tell me that it's all liberal media hype and that there is no more oil in the Gulf now then there ever was...that there is always that much oil washing up on shore in the Gulf and that the Democrats and the liberal media are using it as a way of stopping the drilling. (Which, by the way, Obama did immediately after the disaster, and which the oil companies are fighting.)

When Obama took office, he was challenged to overcome eight years of disastrous economic and foreign policy by the previous administration. Even with that tremendous challenge, he pledged to try to reach out to the other side of the aisle in an effort to change the politics of the past. He was even awarded the Nobel Peace Prize specifically for what he HOPED to achieve to bring America and the world together! Unlike what the Republicans would have you believe, President Obama's entire career has been spent trying to compromise and reach out to others in order to reach common goals. His record speaks for itself. He's not a left-wing president. In fact, he's much more centrist than many of our great Democratic presidents of the past, including FDR and JFK. But, in an effort to damage Obama's credibility and record, the Republicans have adopted a strategy of ZERO COMPROMISE; which is to say that they refuse to vote with the Democrats on anything the Obama Administration tries to pass through Congress, even if what they are doing may very well be in the best interest of the American people. Any Republican congressman who votes with the Democrats is ostracized and jeopardizes his political future. The Republicans in Congress will stop at nothing to gain back a majority in Congress and get another Republican president in office, even if it means going back to the failed policies of the past eight years that brought our country to the brink of disaster, both economically and though the wars being fought in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The Republicans talk about changing politics in Washington, but they continue to show us by their actions what is so terribly wrong with politics in Washington! Can you say "Hypocrites"?

Letter to our President

The following is a letter from a Procter and Gamble executive to President Obama, followed by a letter from me to him. His name is Lou Pritchett.

Subject: A LETTER FROM A PROCTER AND GAMBLE EXECUTIVE TO THE PRESIDENT

Lou Pritchett is one of corporate America 's true living legends- an acclaimed author, dynamic teacher and one of the world's highest rated speakers. Successful corporate executives everywhere recognize him as the foremost leader in change management.. Lou changed the way America does business by creating an audacious concept that came to be known as "partnering." Pritchett rose from soap salesman to Vice-President, Sales and Customer Development for Procter and Gamble and over the course of 36 years, made corporate history.

AN OPEN LETTER TO
PRESIDENT OBAMA

Dear President Obama:

You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me.

You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you.


You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support.

You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American.

You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll.

You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don't understand it at its core.

You scare me because you lack humility and 'class', always blaming others.

You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail..

You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the 'blame America '
crowd and deliver this message abroad.

You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector.

You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government controlled one.

You scare me because you prefer 'wind mills' to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves.

You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world.

You scare me because you have begun to use 'extortion' tactics against certain banks and corporations.

You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals.

You scare me because you will not openly listen to or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people.

You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient.

You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do.

You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaugh's, Hannitys, O'Reillys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view.

You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing.

Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years.

Lou Pritchett

Response by Alex Lankhorst

AN OPEN LETTER TO LOU PRITCHETT

Dear Lou Pritchett,

You're an idiot.

Is it mandatory for a person to have corporate management experience in order to know how to run a country? If our country was run by corporate CEO's, who would bail us out when the country fails?

Do you have to know how to kill in war to understand that peace is always the best option?

Does the American public have to know more about you than that you were born an American without a silver spoon in your mouth; and worked and studied hard on your own (without help from your parent's friends and associates) to dig yourself out of poverty in order to give yourself every advantage you could possibly have in order to be successful?

Do you understand that intelligent people can actually EARN an Ivy League education by getting good grades and earning scholarships, and not by having a rich Ivy League alumni give you a recommendation in order to gain your admission?

Do you understand that President Obama spent ALL THE YEARS of his formative youth in American high schools and colleges and because he actually LIVED in another country besides America, he has actually experienced other cultures besides American culture which gives him a better GLOBAL PERSPECTIVE than someone who has never lived outside of the U.S.? And because he was born in America and lived most of his life in America, he is as much an American as you are? And he DOES NOT make others feel less an American than he is, just because that person may not have a white-European background?

Do you understand that because others oppose what you believe in does not make them anti-American or a terrorist or someone that hates America? It just means that they have a difference in opinion from you and different ideals than you. It also doesn't mean that they want America to fail. It means that have a different opinion in how to make America successful.

Do you understand that because we are now a global society, that we might actually LEARN SOMETHING from other countries in this world...including European countries? That what works there might actually work here too? Some conservatives seem to think that because democracy works here that it must work in all other countries. So, with that in mind, why shouldn't using what works for other countries actually work here?

Do you understand that the health care system in America is actually flawed? Does it not make sense then to actually want to change it in order to make it better for all Americans, not just the rich Americans who can afford good health care? If the American public continues to want to improve the health care system in America, and it comes up every few years, don't you think that there might actually be something to it? That maybe, just maybe, the American public understands that it needs to be fixed?

Do you understand that we are stewards of the one earth God has given us? Do you understand that in order to be good stewards of this earth that it is our responsibility to look for any possible ways to lessen our dependency on things like oil and coal that harm the environment. Wind mills and other renewable energy sources are the only way to be good energy stewards of our planet.

Do you understand that "the goose that lay the golden egg" has been taking advantage of the middle and lower classes since the beginning of time? Do you understand that these elite have been feeding of the middle and lower classes, when it's the middle and lower classes that keep the goose laying his golden eggs? These working class Americans are who drive the American economy. Taxing the rich (who can afford it) more than the middle and lower classes (who can't and who actually drive the economy) actually makes sense. (To everyone but the rich.)

Do you see that it's not just the democrats or President Obama in particular that are unwilling to listen to opposing points of view? When 100% of all Republicans vote against a health care bill, that should tell you who is NOT listening to opposing points of view. Both parties can be blamed for not being open-minded. President Obama has shown himself to be the most open-minded, bi-partisan President to come along in decades by actually holding formal meetings with the Republicans to listen to them and hear their concerns. Name one Republican president in the last 30 years who has done that.

Do you not actually listen to the news media? Between Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Fox News, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly and new Fox News commentator, Sarah Palin, where is the liberal media you keep talking about? Because the REAL news channels actually report the real news, and it happens to NOT be a biased conservative point of view, does that actually mean it's a liberal media that's being easy on Obama?

Are you seriously talking about Obama "demonizing" the news media? Seriously? This is coming from someone whose party actually has posters made of Obama with devil horns and a Hitler mustache trying to portray our President as an evil person? This from a party who tried unsuccessfully to align Obama with Muslim terrorists and say that he wasn't even a U.S. citizen, even though any intelligent person would know that NO candidate could pass the scrutiny of our government in determining who may be eligible to even run for President of the United States.

Finally, you can't seriously talk about Obama "controlling" over "governing". This is an ideological difference between Republicans and Democrats. You see it as "controlling" whereas Democrats understand that some government intervention is necessary in providing for it's citizens.

Mr. Pritchett, your "open letter" to our President is nothing more than Republican scare tactics and propaganda. You believe that most Americans are ignorant and unable to see through your half-truths and outright lies. You simply have a difference in opinion on how our country needs to be governed. That's okay. As an American citizen you have the right to have your own opinion. However, that does not, I believe, give you the right to smear our President and say things about him that are outright lies. It does not give you the right to be Un-American.

Special Friendships

"I am Wind in His Hair. Dances with Wolves, do you not see that I will always be your friend?"

I just watched the movie Dances with Wolves. I have seen the movie countless times and the last scene always brings tears to my eyes. Witnessing the friendship between two men is such a special thing to see.

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They say….

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“A man who has many friends is the wealthiest man in the world.” I have never been wealthy in monetary terms, but in my lifetime I have accumulated many good friends, and that has made me wealthy. Many are friends I don’t see or talk to daily, weekly or even monthly. When I do see them, it's as if time has stood still. I know that they will always be here for me should I ever need them; and they know the same thing of me. They are people who I laugh with, cry with; share my most intimate experiences with. They know me and what makes me tick. They know my failings as a man as well as those things that make me a special man, and they don’t judge me for those things that make me less than perfect.

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Although many of my good friends are men, I have also been blessed with many female friends whom I care for like family and would do anything for. But there is something special about the bond between two men. Men are supposed to have tough exteriors and not show emotion like women do. I think that’s why when two men care for each other so deeply as friends, and are able to show that emotion towards each other, it makes it all the more special.

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My friends mean everything to me. I am the person I am largely due to their friendship. I want to thank each of them for their friendship and even though we may not have spoken for a while, I want them to know how important their friendship is to me.